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ladylike nonsense

for ladies – hoes, skanks, and basic bitches also welcome…

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baby books are basically instagram

My son turned one year old a few days, so naturally we had an EPIC RAGER!!! Jeez Louise, uptight fellow parents, take the sticks out of your tushies. I’m just kidding, it wasn’t an epic rager. ‘Twas only LEGENDARY! SEE... Continue Reading →

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what makes a good runway model: genetics, diet & exercise, or taylor swift?

To the layperson, there is seemingly no rhyme or reason to what makes a good runway model. Hey, that stupid girl over there is tall and skinny and has a nice face and learned to walk at some point in... Continue Reading →

i don’t understand snapchat but it’s nice that you do

We get it, you guys – you face-swapped with your toddler and it’s HI-larious. OMG, look at you as a deer, that’s precious. And now you have a flower crown, good for you! Now, what do you do with these... Continue Reading →

shut up and take my regular insurance payment

Would you guys call me an old Republican man if I told you that I’m suspicious of automatic bill payment programs? Yes, you absolutely would? Godammit, then go read that Julia Child blog and leave me alone. That seems like... Continue Reading →

leggings are the dane cook of pants…

…In that they are really, really, really watered down pants that shouldn’t even be called pants, but everyone (whether proudly or shhh, in secret) enjoys them at least a little. I went to a LuLaRoe party the other week, and... Continue Reading →

ugly christmas sweaters are the new gay besties

Do you remember when Ugly Christmas Sweater parties first hit the scene? And we were all cracking up? And you had to call your mom and ask for your grandmother’s old holiday sweaters to wear? And everyone was so freaking proud... Continue Reading →

that’s enough, j. crew

I popped into my local mall this past weekend, for a quick five hour jaunt to look for new shoes. What kind of shoes, you ask? Well, I don’t KNOW what kind of shoes, that’s why I have to LOOK,... Continue Reading →

this is why we shouldn’t have nice things (but we do because we are terribly materialistic)

This might (and by ‘might’ I mean, ‘definitely will’) make me sound like an asshole, but I love cashmere. It’s so soft and it looks so luxe and you can wear it with jeans and look more après ski than... Continue Reading →

how to wear a crop top in 6 easy steps (according to your judgmental aunt)

Step One – Take your clothes off and look at yourself in the mirror. Do you look like Taylor Swift if she stopped trying to feature every celebrity friend she has in her music videos and really concentrated on her... Continue Reading →

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