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ladylike nonsense

for ladies – hoes, skanks, and basic bitches also welcome…

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Motherhood

i’m not judgemental, but i do judge mentals (a quote taken from nicole ritchie’s 2005 classic “the truth about diamonds”)

When people without children ask me how my little guy is doing, I usually respond by telling them he’s an asshole. 99% of the time, they are delighted with my candor, having steeled themselves for a long-winded poem about my... Continue Reading →

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a study of maternal duality (alternative title: yo, this bish cray)

I’m having a great moment. I feel like a bomb-ass mom – I’ve finished the laundry, done the shopping for the week, packed for my business trip, took my son and the dog out to the park for some fresh... Continue Reading →

submitted for the approval of the midnight society

I know you all think I’m this amazing, fearless, wonder woman with a can-do attitude and an ass that won’t quit, but I have a confession. I’m about to admit something on the internet that nobody should know. It’s shocking.... Continue Reading →

a letter to my former self from my current self (who’s clapping the f*ck back)

Dear Claire, For crying out loud, I forgot how salty you were. You think I didn’t see you making your way through the park, clearly on your way to a boozy meal with what will probably be very little nutritional... Continue Reading →

a letter to my current self from my former self (who’s kind of a real b*tch)

Dear Claire, Damn, girl. Dan and I were just walking through the park, on our way to boozy brunch, and I saw you. You were in a playground, pushing your kid on a swing, and you looked so happy and... Continue Reading →

leggings are the dane cook of pants…

…In that they are really, really, really watered down pants that shouldn’t even be called pants, but everyone (whether proudly or shhh, in secret) enjoys them at least a little. I went to a LuLaRoe party the other week, and... Continue Reading →

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