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ladylike nonsense

for ladies – hoes, skanks, and basic bitches also welcome…

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advice

how to look your best (note: does not involve wearing spanx)

I started the year sick with a stomach bug. Unfortunate timing, I can hear you thinking sympathetically. Except those of you who are thinking it sarcastically. Well, thanks - and I mean that sincerely for the former and equally as... Continue Reading →

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makeup tips for dummies – a request, not a contribution

I’ve never been a big makeup person. I mean, I wear it but I don’t really know how to work it well. Mama and several dedicated carnies throughout my childhood taught me that painting your face turned you into a... Continue Reading →

a study of maternal duality (alternative title: yo, this bish cray)

I’m having a great moment. I feel like a bomb-ass mom – I’ve finished the laundry, done the shopping for the week, packed for my business trip, took my son and the dog out to the park for some fresh... Continue Reading →

the pale girl’s guide to the beach

Hey, you. I see you. I know you. I am you. You’re the pale girl on the beach. No, don’t get embarrassed! It’s ok! I would tell you not to be so paranoid, but we’re on the beaches of New... Continue Reading →

cordially, Claire – the best things in life are free (through theft or demand)

Hello Claire, I run a small business which is mostly creative-driven. I’ve worked hard and landed myself some great press coverage that I’m very proud of. However, I just found out that one of my vendors is using my business’s press coverage and photos of my designs on their own website. That would be fine, except they aren’t giving me credit! I reached out to them several times to ask that they simply mention my business in the photo captions, but they aren’t answering me. I don’t necessarily want to lose them as a vendor, but this needs to be made right! How do I get credit for the work without destroying my relationship with this vendor?

cordially, Claire – is taylor swift still cool, or is it all about jonathan taylor thomas again?

Hi Claire, I have a teenage daughter, and like most parents of kids that age, I am struggling to relate to her. She has wild mood swings, she’s embarrassed to be seen with me, and she is on her phone more than she’s not. But the worst part is actually talking to her – she uses bizarre slang and crazy references, and I can barely decipher what she’s saying. As it’s rare for her to say anything at all to me, I feel like I need to learn the lingo of today’s kids. Could you please help me out and explain what some of the current slang phrases mean?

cordially, Claire – you can be a professional and courteous coworker and you can be one of santa’s elves, but you can’t be both

Dear Claire, I have a workplace situation that I’m not quite sure how to handle. I’m Jewish, and the guy in the cubicle next to me is Christian and VERY into Christmas. He decorated his desk with bright lights, put up a giant Christmas tree that partially blocks the entrance to my cube, and he plays Christmas music at top volume, all day long. He is also a big believer in the war on Christianity and complains about it every chance he gets. Now, I actually love Christmas, and I have no problem the decorations and enthusiasm, but the constant music, enormous tree, and frequent rants are beginning to affect my work. I don’t want to sour my relationship with the guy, as we work so close to one another and he is generally a great cube-mate outside of the holidays, so how do I ask him to tone it down nicely, without coming across as the angry non-believer?

cordially, Claire – queer eye for the straight mom (from another straight mom)

Claire, I am writing you with a very serious problem, and I truly hope you can help me. My 17 year old son just came out to me. That’s not the problem, the problem is that our family is tends to be homophobic, and they might not react well to his coming out. I want him to be who he is, but I don’t want him to lose his relationship with our family. Please help me manage this situation!

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